Have you ever looked at someone and said to yourself, “That’s not the right way to do that…”

Maybe you were watching someone do an exercise at the gym. And you just couldn’t figure out why their pushup form was so different from yours.

Your first thought probably goes to their ignorance: “They just don’t know the right way to do it. I could show them how…”

The thing is… You have your own lens through which you look at the world. You have your own experiences, education, and biases that dictate the “right” and “wrong” way for you. 

And they have theirs too. 

Even when it comes to something as simple as a pushup. And even when there might be an objectively “right” way to do something.

But there might be a specific reason they’re doing their pushups in that way. 

Maybe they have an injury that prevents them from using “proper” form.

Or maybe they read a new study that taught a different way of doing it—one that helps them meet a different need.

Or maybe it really is simply ignorance of what’s right. 

But the fact remains, you don’t know why they’re doing it. 

Perhaps a better thing to do, instead of jumping to conclusions about right and wrong, would be to change the statement to a question.

“I wonder why they’re doing it that way?”

At that point, you have the basis for empathy and understanding.

And those qualities give you a much more stable platform to engage in dialogue… Or even enact change.